I was working with a client in my therapy practice who told me that he was trying the more traditional online dating sites. He admitted that when he wrote his profile, he was trying to write what he thought women would want to hear.
I helped him see that writing and rewriting a profile in a playful way can be a therapeutic process. Playfully writing and rewriting an online dating profile can help us discover what is important to us.
Are we getting too close to narcissism if we focus so much on what we want?
It depends on how we respond when we don't get what we want. Narcissism is not about the wanting; it is about the inability to accept that we do not always get what we want.
When we experience the fact that we can want something but accept when we do not get it, we become free to honestly campaign for our wants. We can tolerate reading about other people not just taking a look at a photo and making a knee-jerk-reaction—a right or left swipe.
Check out the study and Dee's entire post